Dear scale at doctors office

Dear scale at doctors office,

So I think you might have been sick today, maybe you weren't "ALL THERE"?, Couple loose screws??. ANYWAYS.........

 I sat in the waiting room knowing  I would soon have to face you in a few moments, I walked through the door and there you were in the corner just waiting for me.  I dragged my feet as I made my way to you, because quite frankly I really don't care to much for you.  I put my purse down on the chair, emptied my pockets, and took off my sandals ( lightening the load) and then I slowly stepped on you. A few seconds later you spit back a number that couldn't be right! Unfortunatley, there wasn't time for a double check! It was over I was defeated and once again you WON!  So I'm writting you today to let you know that the next time I pay your sorry self a visit VICTORY will be mine buwahahhahahahahaha.